I have the same grayed out behavior, but button is green as connected (also character has Live Face selected for head).
The main issue is that it happens only after few minutes of using. Only restarting IClone it fixes it for a while again.
Although Tracking Data Inspector clearly shows connection is made and values change, so this seems to be just an UI bug something messing up, and buttons are then disabled for no reason.
Also reloading the iclone project doesn't help. One needs to restart the whole iClone software.