i have hair that is really hard to get the physics to work with its weight map, but how can i just have it not go through the shoulders? i added a bigger capsule collider around the shoulders but it still goes through 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/13hhguqOrxc4suOdZrvEHLWLSjojUWw6m/view?usp=sharing

Please make sure to enable both soft and rigid physics in the toolbar. Click the buttons so they are black to turn on physics.

OK, thanks. seems i need some custom wieght map with that hair, but it still goes in the shoulders...

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wehOcTkGgR7CjkK4ltGf_0pAeMutf6TL/view?usp=sharing

Each "cards" based hair requiring physics must have an individual weight map created based on UV.

Here is a quick way to draw a map in Blender for common hair.
(I added some notes at the end for non common hair)

OMG, i have been searching for a video like that. i will use zbrush since the goz pipeline is so easy to use.

Nice tut, 4u2ges.  The better question is why don't the developers provide the correct maps in the first place so we don't have to go through all these gymnastics to make it work properly?

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Yes, that's true. A lot of hair do not come with physics. But then there are some older DAZ hair which always need to be worked out for polys, materials, physics.. etc.
BTW, the given hair example in video had a map. I just deleted it and created a Blender version (which came out pretty much the same).