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By Peter Blood - 6 Years Ago
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Hi guys:
I'm suffering from post animation depression. I've spent the last 2 1/2 years on the Ari 3 video and it's complete except for voice work,
however I fear I may never be able to release it.
Sadly my female lead, Shygirl (Helen Stevenson), was diagnosed with Cancer a few months back and, like the trooper she was, still wanted to reprise
her role. She had been through all the treatments and told me none of them had been effective.
We worked pretty closely on all of the Ari vids and we were very good friends. She lived in Scotland and I live in the United States so we
conversed through e-mail. We, of course, continued trading e-mails back and forth and, for a bit, she was strong enough to give it a go. However,
before we could get started, she told me she had contracted an infection in her chest and would have to wait until she recovered from it. She never answered any
of the e-mails I sent after that. I had no other way to get information on her condition and, after a while, I began to fear the worst had happened.
I loved her so much. I continued to send e-mails but no reply was forth coming. Losing a friend I'd known and worked with for over a decade threw
me into a serious artistic depression and I have not recovered from it yet.
Despite all the work I've put in, I've seemed to have lost the fire to finish the project. Shy was my coordinator for all of the excellent
voice actors I've had in my productions so I'm back at ground zero. I'm not sure if I can motivate myself to replace all the talented artists
she introduced me too. I'm kind of hoping for a miracle to get me over the hump and I know God will provide at some point. My fear is that I won't,
by that time, have the will to finish without her.
Sorry for the bummer, but I had to get it off my chest and I know of nowhere else where the people I talk to would even understand.
My family have no concept of the work her and I did nor how much our friendship meant to me. (Although my wife did wonder why I was
crying after my last e-mail failed to get a response. She, of course understood but didn't fully understand the depth of my sadness.
I've kept it in my heart along with her memory but it has been very difficult to even view the video.
Anyway thanks for listening, I know you will all understand what I'm talking about.
Peace to you Shy, I know that God will appreciate you and your talent and will keep you safe. I pray for you still, every night.
Not so :cool: right now
pete
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By Postfrosch - 6 Years Ago
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Hello pete
I can understand your grief for a very good friend.
I have always appreciated Shygirl's work and also got a lot of suggestions.
I know about your close cooperation with Shygirl and I also have an idea that you cannot and will not succeed in working on your project at the moment.
Perhaps you can deal with it again at some point, even if you are having a hard time at the moment.
Greetings from your old friend from Germany
Werner (Postfrosch)
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By Kelleytoons - 6 Years Ago
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So, so sorry for you, Peter.
The only thing I would recommend, and I hope you take this the right way, is that you keep pursuing efforts to find out what has actually happened. Yes, it's likely she is no longer with us and while that is something we all eventually have to face it's important to have closure. I had a close friend who, after I moved a few thousand miles away, only communicated with via phone. One day he didn't answer and because he was without family (or at least none I knew of) I had no way of knowing what the situation was, although I also knew he was a very unhealthy individual. Like you, I was fairly sure he has passed, but I continued my efforts to find out and while it did take a year I was eventually able to speak to his former landlord (who had since moved on both in location and job) and confirm my friend's death.
It made a difference. I knew now for a fact what had happened and it no longer nagged at me. Plus, having spoken to someone who knew more details (not many, but a few) it gave me such a better picture I could finally rest. And it DID lift my depression (even though we weren't "work buddies" as you were we did talk continually each week throughout the football season and until I knew what happened to him I couldn't watch a game without feeling sad). I suspect the same might be true of you and, if so, you owe it to yourself to get that ending.
Overseas is difficult but not impossible, and there are certainly places of record you could contact to give you more info (even her email addy would reveal some information, as you could trace it back and see some things from it. Plus, you know her full name and that's VERY helpful even in an international search). Anyway, just a thought and if it's not something you feel up to right now you may come back to it later.
But she looks like an Angel, and if she is in Heaven I'm sure the other Angels are happy to have her.
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By wendyluvscatz - 6 Years Ago
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💖💞💓💗💝💕
her suffering is over and you are richer for having known her
when you can finish your animation, it will honour her memory
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By thebiz.movies - 6 Years Ago
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Sorry to hear about this difficult situation Peter.
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By mark - 6 Years Ago
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Oh this is so very sad to hear. Shy was a big contributor to the forum a marvelous talent and a wonderful person, this is just heartbreaking. She was a very generous person and helped me so many times.
I completely understand you feeling Pete. Please keep us informed if you learn more and will certainly be praying for that dear gal.
God Bless
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By justaviking - 6 Years Ago
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@Peter - So sorry to hear the sad news. I thought Mike and Wendy both had phenomenal comments. I hope it's not too long before you regain your peace, but be patient with yourself during this difficult time.
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By TNFireWalker - 6 Years Ago
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Peter, so sorry to hear what is happening. We can only hope and Pray for you and Shy. Understanding the closeness that you shared with her...it makes it tough. Plus the not knowing makes it worse.
Hope that soon you can find your passion again for your Project and somehow...finish in HER HONOR! Yes, It won't be the same, but no matter what, she will always be there with you. You will forever hear her voice...as you create...she is there.
Sincerely,
Nancy
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By wires - 6 Years Ago
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Most distressing news Pete.
I've "known" Shygirl from the Cool Creators Forum since I starting using iClone with version 2. I'm really lost for words on this, and I can feel your pain. She helped me out on several occasions and always seemed to have time and energy for those needing them.
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By animagic - 6 Years Ago
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Very sorry to hear about Shygirl.
I liked her work as a designer and have several of her outfits. I didn't know her personally other than through the forum and it was a loss when she no longer participated.
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By Peter Blood - 6 Years Ago
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Thank you, everyone for the kind words about Shy.
She taught me a lot of the 'secrets' of costume design in Iclone and supported my efforts to learn all I could
about the procedures. I was so blessed when she asked to voice the first Ari adventure. She asked if it would it
be alright if Ari had "a light Scottish lilt" to her voice. I was so stoked to have her and we went to work right away.
Your words have made my heart lighter and I can't thank you all enough for your kindness. It's comforting to know
you all appreciated her as I do. I will take your advice about trying to get closure and in attempting to get new actors
for the piece. I know I will never replace her in my heart but I hope to find someone who can do the role justice as she
did over and over. I know she loved Ari and she was able to bring out the all of Aris' personality just as I envisioned it.
Thank you again my friends for your comforting words, I'm feeling stronger because of them.
:cool: pete
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By charly Rama - 6 Years Ago
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Hello Pete. I'm sorry for this news from Shygirl. I can only encourage you to continue what you love to do and what she loved to do. I pray for you that God will give you peace my friend; good luck to you
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By kungphu - 6 Years Ago
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Hey Pete,
Condolences go out to you. I can’t stand cancer. So many friends and family have been stricken with that disease. My brother lost his battle with cancer a few years ago. He was stage four and managed to fight on for four long years. We were very close, was basically my best friend and with his passing I struggled finding motivation to do more than just the basics. It’s like I was still living but just going through the motions. There was some advice from some someone who also lost their brother, their suggestion was to find the one thing in life that you’re passionate about; that gives you more joy than anything else. Throw yourself into it and partake in it every chance you get.
I have a million hobbies with art/music etc. but above all else it was surfing. Something I loved to do but only managed to do maybe once or twice a year. I threw myself head first into the sport, planning trips every month almost. It centered me if you will. Then the memories that flooded through weren’t just these terrible feelings, they were more memories of happiness and lighter times. It helped me to start living again, never forgetting but just living if that makes sense.
I think a wonderful tribute would be to finish the project, but only when you’re ready. The loss never truly goes away, but it does get better. I wouldn’t say easier, but it does get better. If you need voice actors for various roles etc., PM me; I know more than a few that will work for free on a passion project. They can work remotely with their own equipment and send audio files. Keep your head up, find what you love and embrace it, throw yourself into it and keep the good memories alive with a wistful smile realizing it will get better :) Life is a gift, embrace it my friend.
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By Kimmie777 - 6 Years Ago
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Peter, I am so sorry to hear that.
Peace to you in this time of sorrow.
In CHRIST,
~ Kimmie
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By toystorylab - 6 Years Ago
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Hey Peter,
that's a sad story you are telling...
I really hope you can at least get some certainty about what happened to her.
As I can't remember her work/voice, I tried to find something in your older posts, but all "Ari" links don't work anymore.
And as others said, I also think it would be very sad if you stop the work on the projects you both were working on.
She can't be replaced but her spirit can be kept alive.
Wish you strength and courage!
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By Walt_R - 6 Years Ago
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Sorry to hear about Helen, aka Shygirl, and the emotional toll it has taken on you. We can only hope and pray that she is still with us, and if not, that her suffering is over. It is heartening to hear you will continue Ari. What a wonderful tribute it will be to her. In our hearts and yours, her memory will not fade. To quote Shakespeare: “So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee.” Strength and courage to you my friend in your desperate hours.
Walt
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By Peter Blood - 6 Years Ago
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Thank you for the encouragement, it helps greatly.
Everyone has helped me to see that finishing the project would be a tribute to
her skills and talent. I've decided that finishing it will be the best thing to help me
move on with her by my side. I watch the Ari vids a lot, just to hear her voice again.
In Ari and Mad God, Janaal was voiced by my 10 year grandaughter whom I haven't seen in
6 years so it helps to watch it for her as well. (I also used her beautiful little face on the character
thanks to Iclone 5's original and integral face gen engine.)
Try the address bar beneath the picture strip.
Thank you again Toy Story for your support. I knew I could count on everyone to understand.
:cool: pete
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By Peter Blood - 6 Years Ago
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Thank you Walt. Shakespeare was such a genius with words and that quote really captures
the way I feel.
:cool: pete
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By Peter Blood - 6 Years Ago
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Thank you Charley. I appreciate and will act on the suggestion to finish the project.
You all have been so kind and understanding.
:cool: pete
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By kenmatthews - 6 Years Ago
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Hello Peter,
So sorry to hear of your pain and loss. I live in Scotland but am currently shielded (confined to the house to save me from Coronavirus). If, when things with the Pandemic settle down I can be of assistance, just let me know. My condolences.
Best regards.
Ken.
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By Peter Blood - 6 Years Ago
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Thank you very much for your post Ken. The support for Shygirl and myself which has
been displayed by the members of the forum has been quite remarkable. The artists
here have been very kind and my spirits are rising because of it.
I'm working to lift my funk by the end of the weekend by getting out to do some fishing, some communing
with God and nature, and get my mind right on re-casting Ari. Shy made her a Scottish lass (She was from
Moffat, south of the Edinburgh area) and her "light Scottish lilt" fit my vision of Ari perfectly. It's hard to let go but
let go I must, and let go I will.
I'm very appreciative of your offer. You look like a man with a fine sense of humor and there's an
jovial inn-keeper who you might fit like a glove if voice work is in your offer.
Thanks again for your support and I'll let you know when I put the video-script up on YouTube.
:cool: pete
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By kenmatthews - 6 Years Ago
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Hello Peter,
Happy to do some voice-over for you. I have my own audio studio, as well as everything else... I use the word studio advisedly, it's also my computer room, video editing suite, and room that Hilda dumps stuff in when she spots a little space...
Best regards.
Ken.
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By william.carey30 - 6 Years Ago
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Hello Peter!
Very sorry to hear about your loss. She was legendary for her talent and helpfulness, as are you. Cancer, the bane of our time! Unfortunately, this is not the first time cancer has taken an amazing iCloner from us, and it won't be the last. There should be some sort of an "Immortal iCloners" Gallery, with figures of beloved (among us, at least) iCloners, and people could click on the animated figure to hear the person's story, and see his/her work! I've often said to people, of whom I've made an iClone character, "You're immortal now, so long as there is an internet.", and meant it!
Best regards,
Bill Carey
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By Peter Blood - 6 Years Ago
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Thank you William. And thank you for the kind words about my Shy.
She meant an awful lot to me and she meant the world to Ari.
:cool: pete
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